Today marked my last day at Siemens.. Though relieved, I know that a part of me will always be there... It's never about solely earning money, but from my little 5-month experience, I would safely say that 70% of work is based on our relationship with our colleagues.. And we are the ones who decide how well we want to be treated by them. It's all down to the basic principle of sowing and reaping yet again..

Being in the HR department, I had the opportunity to see the company as a whole; From the lowest graded worker right up to the head.. And since it is a German company, we do have a few cute German interns. =) My dept treated me to a farewell lunch at sakae ytd too!! It came as a surprise la.. (Thank God I went to work.. Lol)

Some rules that I have for myself...
1) no FLIRTING. (Others can flirt with you, it's called being 'friendly'.. But as a newbie, YOU DON'T cos it will only reflect badly on you)
2) no COMPLAINING. (Whatever toot your superior wants you to do, DO IT. You are paid to help, don't shortchange them.)
3) Put aside all personal affairs once you step into the office.
4) Be extremely polite to the auntie who clears your bin...
5) They can tease you all they want, but not vice versa. (Teasing an older person make you look rude *Sigh*)
6) Suppress your rebellion when being falsely accused (They are ALWAYS right...... Let them win...)
7) Smile at everyone whom you have eye contact with.

These 7 rules will make people love you. HAHA..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AH, I can finally breathe now...
My schedule for the past weeks was madness. Sometimes it seemed like everyday was a manic monday.. On top of my 5-day work, 4 of my weeknights are occupied - 2 nights for cello and 2 for tuition.. It must have been supernatural strength.. But I guess it was also the joy in the things that I am doing that kept me going.. Exhausted, but satisfied.

Anyway, orchestra prac on wed was greeeeatt.. We combined with the choir finally!!!!!!!!!! They sounded real majestic but I guess that wasn't the full strength yet? Meaning on the actual performing day, they will blow us off our feet (Literally? Lol...) But orchestra's attendance was so so poor.. I was quite surprised, I think that was the lowest ever.. It turned out I was the only cellist that fateful day.. But I enjoyed it greatly nevertheless! =) *Anticipating the next prac!*

I tried Jean Yip for my hair just now.. It cost a bomb but yet not up to my expectation.. Sigh.. (The hairstylist was cute though... But what's the point..?!) No one cut my hair better than Ann Lin from Le Salon.. She's the best ever.. *Promote promote..*
One tip: Tell the hairstylist that you are a STUDENT. Most of the time you get good discounts of up to $20 off. And please look convincing as well.. Hahaha... This is impt as they don't ususally check your pass.. ;)

*You have a purpose in wherever God landed you in..*

I woke up feeling so refreshed this morning! I even ran to the station to meet my choir friend (cos I was late lol..) And I bumped into some friends in the train! =) So I thot it was a great start to the day ahead..

Until.... During choir soundcheck....
Choir IC: Who didn't go for wednesday's prac? Raise your hands..
Me: *raised hand*
'someone' in front: *turned back and in a harsh tone* Then you are NOT supposed to sing. Don't you know that blablabla.. Who's your helper?
Me: *said the name* -_-
that 'someone': oh haha.. Then i have nothing to say...
Me: *rolled eyes discretely*

PLEASE... GIVE ME A BREAK... That was so unnecessary! Like I don't need her to tell me whether or not I was allowed to sing..?! *need more patience..* It's real distasteful to go up to someone and 'enthusiastically' utter something ridiculous...

Like another incident..
A guy came up to me and Schu and asked if we were siblings.. and then he went on to ask if we were attached.. I almost couldn't believe anyone would ask me such things especially since we hadn't spoken before.. If it was a pickup line.. It was a horrible one.. A simple 'Hi' would have me smiled and said hallo.. And you could have guessed, Schu entertained him while I was stunned and dumbfounded..

And today while having dinner with my father, a dim sum auntie approached us pushing her dim sum cart..
*In Mandarin*
Auntie to Father: Is she your FRIEND?
Father: No she's my daughter.
Auntie: Wah.. kids her age don't go out with parents anymore.. They'd rather go out with friends.. You must be proud of her.. My 2 sons are both married and went away..
Father: *smiled*
Me: *engrossed in my meepok*
Auntie: She is pretty.. Next time can marry a rich man and 'kiao ka' (= rot away, in my interpretation) already.. Blablabla.. *And she drifted away*

Me and my dad stared at each other and continued eating... But I thought to myself "Am I that superficial..." Oops. HAHA..

Btw, talking about meepok.. lol.. Some places that I recommend are
1. Newton XO meepok (I ate it 4 times the 4 times I went there.. Boring right? LOl..)
2. Bedok Interchange meepok (at the back isle nearer to the dessert store i think.. Once the hawker was having a lousy mood and he cooked half-heartedly but still tasted great)
3. East Coast Park meepok (A little too much vinegar but nicely done.. and his interpretation of 'a little chilli' means 'a lot' for us.. So.. LOL..)

1 place on my blacklist..
Raffles City meepok!!!!!! Goodness.. When I saw how the meepok was cooked for the customer in front of me, I was horrified. (Ok a little dramatic..) So much so that I requested if I could dismiss my order... *never before in my entire life* But the auntie rejected my rejection.. *lol* Then ok lor.. hahaha..

Just some insights to the daily happenings..

WANTED: A miracle...


She was swimming against the current and suddenly a big wave swept her away.
And now she is running on solid rock...

In this world you will have tribulations
But be of good cheer
For I have overcome the world

Yesss.. Orch. prac was great fun!! We finally played 'Messiah' and will be combining with the choir next week.. How interesting! hehehe.. Cello's part is real fun to play and I love how it sounds.. Haha.. (I know the cellos are kinda overwhelmed by the louder instru. but if you strain your ears hard enough.. You will fall in love with the sound.. It sounds like a shy girl.. Soothing and gentle... Though not as 'glam' as the violins)

I'm rather frustrated inside... Cos I wanna take up piano again.... It's been in me for so long.. Argh..... I feel like something's kicking inside of me, waiting to birth forth.. You know that feeling? And I feel a strong need to do something about it now.. Yup stay tuned! =P Don't say I'm fickle-minded and too ambitious.. I'm just doing what I love.. And today I found out that 1 of the cellists has a Grade 8 in piano and the other is taking Dip. in piano.. So inspiring!

Argh.. I can't wait...

You know when I say something like that.. I will do it the next moment LOL.. HAHA.. Like how some people were shocked when I suddenly bought a cello the other time.. LOL... Not being impulsive but it's what I wanted to do eons ago.. It's just inside of me..

*heart is literally beating fast now at the thought of all the goodies coming up!*

I simply can't ignore it!!!

Sigh.. But music is my wallet's all-time enemy.. *Sings* All for love's sake became poor.. LOL~~
Kidding. =)

God: I am your Provider.
God: You can do all things.
Me: With the little I have in my hands, I give to You.. For You are the One who does wonders...
Not me..

*Shall I begin? =) *

Hey guys, are u sick of my blog song? =)

Had cello lesson today.. I showed my teacher the score for "Pomp and Circumstance" and he said it's an advanced-level piece.. Ok I felt better... He said it's not my standard yet and I should work on my basics first.. Cos bad habits are hard to break in future. So true.. Maybe I shouldn't be too hard on myself.. Sigh..

The problem with me is that I always think "If others can do it, why can't I?" But I realised.. Though I can also but others have already conquered their levels 2, 3, 4, 5........ So If I'm at level 1, I should just give my best in level 1 first before moving on.. =) *revelation!*

Jeff is truly my da ge!!! One and only... When it's time to be harsh on me, hmm let's just say.. He will grab the opportunity.. by this I know that our relationship is that secure.. I will never forget once he scolded me so badly that I broke down in front of his family... But we later shook hands and made up.. Case closed. =)

I don't exactly like people to sugar-coat their words.. just say what you really mean. Then I will know that you are comfortable enough to let me see your inner world.. Of cos we may not be in coherent agreement but I always love a friendly debate which leave me thinking "oh ya ah.. Why didn't I think of that.."

Anyway back to Jeff.. Had a conv with him in msn..

aileen: Sighhhhh Jeff.... I feel that.. *censored*
Jeff: nonsense la
Jeff: course not
Jeff: thats a lie, from the devil
Jeff: learn to counter it by discipling your mind
Jeff: 2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Jeff: sound mind are also translated as "disciplined mind"
Jeff: means u tell your brain what to think
Jeff: every negative thought u have, quote a scripture and says excatly the opposite
Jeff: on a daily basis
Jeff: it helps to think that u can do ALL things, ALL things
Jeff: that means, if Jesus' hands can break bread and feel 5000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish, then we CAN too
Jeff: same Holy Spirit
Jeff: nothing's changed
Aileen: ='(

Sometimes we just need some raw talking to get it in our head.. I love raw talks. Hard pushes.. People to show me how to do things.. not TELL me what to do...

*A hard fall creates a higher bounce.*

Sigh..
Had orchestra prac today.. and it was Terrible. Terror. Tear.
We played "Pomp and Circumstance" and I let Edward Elgar down miserably.........
Sigh..
Felt so helpless as I could only stare at the score struggling to find the right note...
Then thoughts came arrowing at me that I am not good in anything.......
God says that I can do all things through Him.. Certainly He thinks higher of me than I am of myself.....


I called my cello teacher immediately after prac.. And bugged him for lesson.. Only to realize, when I reached home, that it is his birthday today! Haha.. Oops. The problem with cellists is that.. So few people play cello!!! That the pathetic few die die have to be zai.. Moreover we are supposed to be the ones who set the tempo for the rest..


But Eric was really encouraging... He came up to me after prac..
Him: You look quite sad... It's like that one la..
Aww.. Just one simple sentence and I felt a big part of my burden was lifted..


Sigh.. I have just less than 2 months before our next performance.. God, I need a miracle! I need more than just the anointing... I need.. I need... A tuner first. =(

Look at the rosin! It looks so edible.. lol..

Bought it recently after my previous one got lost.. At home.. Sigh so unnecessary~

Haven't been exercising since my knee injury.. Feeling so unhealthy now.. Can't stand not being able to run about.. And not to mention my fair skin.. Which is a result of not being under the sun for ages.... Due to my work... Feel so deprived of sun and fun.. Ah...

Ok enough of self-pity. LOL..

Come July I'll have the entire month freeeeeeee... Finally.... So please ask me along if you are gg to the beach or sth ok.. LOL.. But no shopping.. I feel it's a waste of time and money.. (Wah so practical hor.. lol..)

*I haven't missed school yet. =)*

Today was such a great Sunday! I sat beside mengching during service and she's such an awesome person to be with.. Meeting her for dinner tmr! We simply love to hug each other.. LOL.. I love hugsss~~

Prayer meeting was awesome too!! I love prayer meetings! Time seemed to pass by so quickly today.. And I remember clearly, during worship when we sang "We don't deserve of You what we ask.." Tears trickled down spontaneously as I recalled the very first time I stepped into City Harvest and how far God has brought me since then.. This is altogether an awesome journey. A one-way journey on a narrow path..

Anyway, after pm I was kinda like a lost sheep.. My hp was flat and my cg was dispersed.. So I walked ard trying to find the tithe machine. And I met bird!!!!!! I was so happy to see her! (and vice versa =P) We had a looong lunch together and it was great talking to her.. but we almost didn't need to talk at all cos we were always completing each other's sentences HAHA... It's really amazing how we know each other spirit to spirit.. I love Bird! =)

And and! I smsed Jeff at 2am earlier on and asked if he wanted a pianist for his wedding.. Lol.. Random thoughts always come to my mind at odd time.. And! yay! He may want me to do a special performance! If it really come to past... AHhhhhhh!!!! It will be a major breakthrough for me... Keeping my fingers crossed..

Nice friends make my day!

A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

EMERGING

My cg =)

cai!! I still think our friendship was divinely planned. =)
She thinks I'm disgustingly white LOL!!! GOod sia... Shoved away my white hand LOL..

aww.. lol.. Aileen Bernice Caijun
Friends forever! (So cliche, but I don't care lol..)

My father! Tall dark and handsome LOL... haha he attended Emerge also ok!!! LOL..

JinLian my beloved ex-cgl. We had such a hilarious time watching manhunt n beauty pageant.. LOL~ To our left, we saw an old couple sleeping peacefully and oblivious to what was happening hahah so cute.. And then to our right... Better not say lol..

Shall end abruptly..

-_-zZ

The cellists!

Saturday was my first time performing in a philharmonic orchestra and it felt great! Although I was nervous to tears in the 'tunnel' before gg on stage.. but it was all over in a blink of an eye the moment we went up. I'm still very much an amatuer cellist and is very honoured to be able to be part of the orchestra! So so much more to learn from the 3 others.. They were great company too! =)

Frankly speaking, I was kinda pleasantly taken aback (not 'smittened' cos according to Bird that was too heavy a word LOl..) when I saw those guys all decked out in suits n bow ties.. I was like "Wow. " LOL.. Somehow I feel that musicians (I mean the rest.. haha) have this quiet appeal that can only be noticed after some time... Just.. Really attractive in a way I can't express.. But then again maybe i'm biased la. Haha..

ermm.. Anyway, that aside..

I love what Pst Kong said... "our talents must be marinated with the anointing of God."

Wow.

I may not have many talents... may not be the best ard... But with what little God has put in my hands, I wanna give it back to Him the best that I can..

remember it's 99% perspiration..

I've already sieved out my dreams.. and left with 2 which I feel strongly about.. those 2 are what I really wanted since young..

I like what zeng ming mentioned in msn.. It comes to a time when we can't waste time 'trying' things out.. that should already be done in our teenage years when we tried to excel in sports music studies all at once.. I am glad I was madly garang then.. Now that I'm 20, it's time to spend my time wisely in areas I want to zoom into. I think it's a good thing he pointed that out to me! It was quite a revelation... =)

It's hard to find a non-fussy guy...
Someone who takes whatever come his way..
See an obstacle and overcome it...
And not whine. so much.

-_- zZ

Yes!!! Finally met up with Alice Bird and Cai! ABC! Love their company greatly as always... It's amazing how our friendship started off! =) Thank you girls for being a big part of my life and cheers to the many great years ahead! =)

And Alice! Thanks for blessing me with the 2 'Secret Garden' CDs and for being strong enough to not rip it for yourself first lol.. Han na.. I will send it to u la.. lol.. When we talked.. We somehow always end up expressing our strong opinions about issues and I think it's more fun and enriching rather than plain talks...

Anyway, check out 29-05-2007's Straits Times Forum... About how a person with A,B,E and C for GP couldn't get into NUS, NTU or SMU.. (Local uni) I'm rather confused. WHAT DOES THE GOVERNMENT WANT?!?!?!?!

They promised us a good education in singapore. Sounds good.. So we studied. On the other hand, they are recruiting a hell lot of rich and smart elites from overseas, thus competing with the majority of the 'average' students in singapore. So the question posted in the forum was, are the universities here trying to raise their ranks or cash in more money instead? I was thinking, with them being so heavily funded why the toot don't they open up more vacancies? So where the toot are those 'average' students going? Don't blame them for migrating and not returning after the treatment they receive here..

If only I have more money, I would definitely have studied elsewhere.. Far from singapore.. The thought is tempting really... And really, those foreigners don't have to travel here, they can jolly well stay safe and snug in their own countries if only the universities here set up some small and exclusive private U in those countries...

Now, don't tell me about being a global citizen. In Singapore.... When the citizens can't even develop themselves here -> .

I will not blame the government...
I will not blame the government...
I will not blame the government...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, on a lighter note, come end july I may be going to conquer Mt Kinabalu!! With my jc friends.. So looking forward can.. Hopefully my leg will be healed by then.. =)

*And still I believe...*

Had my second lesson with my tuition kids today.. Come to think of it, I quite enjoy teaching.. haha.. However, it's scary to see pri5 kids studying familiar topics you find in a jc curriculum.. So I ended up sharing with them knowledge I learnt in jc too... Cos they are real inquisitive and kept bombarding me...

One of the questions we came across was..
What is the difference btw respiration and photosynthesis?
That's a hot favourite jc bio essay question...
And they recited the definition of 'respiration'..

Respiration = food + oxygen -> energy -> carbon dioxide + water

*Jaw drop*

And they learnt to draw plant and animal cells!!! Cmon.. Pri 5??? And they learnt about human reproductive system and even umbilical cord and its functions.. When my students couldn't even pronounce it right.. ("Unbelievable cord" Oh my I burst out laughing..LOL)

Kid: Teacher... Then sunflower got stigma and anther??
Me: .... *thought hard....... Of an exit lol*

One of the diagrams shows the cross-section of an anther!!! Which I first saw only in jc..

And they talked to me about pokemon.. PSP.. DS... *pull hair* LOL.. Erm... Maybe I should start watching saturday morning cartoons to stay relevant..... At least a bit...

One of the topics I taught was about electrical circuits.. They were so enthusiastic about doing the experiment!! And was frowning when they told me that their teachers didn't allow them to do it in school.. LOL.. So I got one to dig out her bulb.. aluminium and a battery.. What happened was.. She couldn't find aluminium and brought out her metal JELLY MOULD instead.. Didn't have a small bulb and so we used a bigger-than-normal sized bulb.. which the battery couldn't light up.. LOL! We even substituted the jelly mould with stretched spring she took from her pens.. But we didn't succeed la. LOL!! *obviously* So I promised to bring my small torchlight bulb for them next lesson.. LOL...

And as usual I said something unglam..

"the light will bulb up..."
*blush*
LOL!!

Hey... Learning and teaching should be fun right!! Haha.. But of cos I have a certain expectation too... So this is a glimpse of how the next generation is like. Time for self-evaluation!!!

*God You're amazing... You're wonderful to me...*

I am so blessed today!!!

Jeff called me out of the blue after svc and blessed me with FIFTY dollars!!! It was truly help in time of (urgent) need as my resources have already run dry... Truly God is our Provider and in Him we do not have to fear... =)

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever.
Psalms 23:6

Am I not...
nerdy enough? Yes. Never..

Prize for being nerdy?
Entry into nus.

*sing*
whatever... will be will be..
The future's still bright for me..
As it's always been..
My God is with me..

Desperate attempt to rhyme..
Now it's time to say goodbye..

Lol... Can't stand myself sometimes.. Ha..

Sigh..
Bye..

Take it like a man, steady and strong
Not a lot of fuss and carrying on
True to a promise I can ride in a storm
Take it like a man who knows about love
And every little thing that a girl dreams of
Someone wise enough to understand
If you want this woman's heart
Take it like a man

Michelle Wright - Take It Like A Man

-_- zZ

I am so blessed!!! =)

Went to SGH ytd with Edmund, my beloved cgl, and Kailin, my beloved cg member and friend. I felt soo bad la... Made everyone waited so long with me.. But I'm so grateful for them! If not for KL those hours would seem like eternity.. Thanks for the company!! And Edmund! He came at 11 plus at night and paid my fee!! Thank God for sending these people in time of need.. =) But I still feel bad for troubling them...

And anyway, my injury was just a tendon tear... -_-
Freaked out for nth.. But now that I know it gives me a peace of mind..
The crack sound that I heard was due to the tendon being pulled, thus shifting the kneecap upward causing the sound..
Very chey one... LOL..
Thank God that it's so minor..

And just now!! My tuition kid's mum called out of the blue.. And to my amusement and pleasure, told me that she 'bluffed' the tuition agency that she 'doesn't want me' and 'will consider first'... (it sounded hilarious for her to be telling me that, we kept laughing la LOL!) And wanted me to play along with her plot when the agency calls me just so that I don't have to pay the agency!!!!!!! Thank God for favour!!!!! Goodness.. That would cost me a whopping $120.. I was very very surprised to hear that cos was supposed to have my first lesson with them ytd, but have to cancel due to the visit to hospital... I thot the mum sounded kinda unhappy.. But things turned out better than my expectation.. =) !

And thanks Schu for HANUTA!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

Just woke up from a 5-hour nap.. erm.. Sleep.. Argh......................
Had long jump just now... It was terrible....
I took off using my left leg which was the weaker one...
Think the impact was too hard on my knee...
In midair after taking off... I thot to myself "Sh*t... That's it......"
Upon landing, I heard a loud crack in my left knee...
Next moment I knew, tears were streaming down without my permission!
I normally don't cry when I'm injured...
But this time I guess it was the sound of the crack and the initial excruciating pain that freaked me..
And I suspected it's either a torn ligament or a shifted kneecap, now that my knee feels 'loose'........

Was supposed to be the fourth runner of a 4x100m relay team as well... Cos they couldn't find anyone at the last minute.. Ended up they had to find another replacement.. Hope I didn't lower their morale... Sigh. It's bad to back off a team after agreeing to be part of it... Totally no sportsmanship la.. But bo bian...

To date, my left leg had broken it's own record (a try-too-hard pun) of having at least 4 sprained ankle, 1 foot problem due to improper landing during badminton.. scarred knee (due to rollerblade) and now this knee thingy.. All in one leg!!! LOL.. I think today's the final straw for me... and perhaps marks the end of my 10-yr sportsmanship.. Gotta resign to be an official gu niang now.. NOOOOOOOOOOO..................... Sigh.

And Cai thanks for being by my side all the while!!!! My bestie!! You did real GREAT for swimming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) So proud of u la!!

Anyway, philharmonic orchestra will be performing on the 2nd night of Emerge. Stay tuned!! (Another try-too-hard pun) Heh. =)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmmm... I've been pondering over this for a month or two already.. (That's really long for someone who doesn't think a lot..) We have been told once we know how to understand simple languages that we have to respect our seniors. Yet, on the other hand, we are told that respect has to be earned... And why do we still have to respect given that the seniors don't reciprocate sometimes... Izzit solely for pride reason..

During a shower recently, it dawned upon me out of the blue as a revelation... YES, it's all about the age... Number does matter.... See, as we grow older, we inevitably see more of 'the world'.. experienced more hardship and failures.. And every year, these accumulate and make us stronger. And for that, being the younger ones, we are always one step (or more) behind... And for that they should have already earned our respect.... BAM it really hit me..

Of course being older doesn't mean that they are always right... But it doesn't give us the license to be disrespectful either.

It's real amazing how God speaks to us... Thank God for letting me see things I can't see by my natural eyes...

*Fall and stand.. Fall and stand... Fall and stand.. Stand and walk.. Walk and fly.......*

Just watched "The Pianist"... Read the book too.. It shows a gist of a Jewish pianist's (Wladyslaw Szpilman) fate during the Holocaust...

On the way for extermination..
Szpilman: Halina (His sis) , I know it's a little funny.. But I wish I had known you better..

Szpilman in hiding in a friend's house...
Friend: If the Germans come in, jump out of the window. Don't let them get you alive.

The whole show took around 2 hours plus but it was worth watching! Cos it resembles closely what actually happened during the war... The scenes are acted out according to the book which was what Wladyslaw had witnessed and experienced.. Some gruesome scenes were not shown though.. So reading a book is more interesting as you are the one 'directing' the entire movie...

Currently reading 'the great escape'.. Eh.. Quite detailed with a lot of characters involved.. Kinda lost sometimes... But the gist of it is how the POWs escaped the concentration camps by digging underground tunnels... See, when we are desperate enough.. Nothing can stop us from reaching our goal.. Even death. Horrr...

Having the "great leap forward" (long jump) tmr! I wonder how will I perform having lived a sedentary lifestyle for monthsss already..

err.. Very history horr.. hahaha..

*no one loved me like you...*